As I lifted up my hand in worship in my private place, I felt good and unburdened.
I felt like laying me down to sleep in the middle of an unusually busy day. Inspiration came to me, strength like I had not experienced in a long time. I sat down, closed my eyes smiling and thinking within me – this is my place of rest. This is where I want to be, I feel myself reaching deeper and deeper into that place of peace, that place of receiving, where I am not running around, where I can just be! Where I feel totally at ease and rejuvenated.
I can’t detach my mind from my friend’s words and feelings of helplessness and I thought to myself, how do I reach her? In my mind, I played back our conversation.
ENITAN: “So where do you want to go?”
TOLANI: “I really don’t know? I know I have to go. I feel desperate, I think I have lost myself and it is driving me nuts. I don’t know myself anymore, nothing gives me pleasure… it’s like I am on auto – pilot, just existing, I hope I am not losing my mind.”
ENITAN: “Please why not take a break? Go somewhere, do something fun or see a therapist! I don’t like the look on your face, it scares me.
TOLANI: (with a plastic smile) “I have so much to do, you don’t know, you have no idea… How I envy you, you seem to have it all worked out, but I am struggling, I’m always struggling!
Those were her words to me: “have it all worked out!” Me? Hmmm
I have this to say to my dear Tolani, I don’t have it all worked out like you think. Yes, I plan for months to come and years to come , but one very important thing I do, is that I know when and how to STOP!
Sometimes I am so busy taking care of everybody around me that I forget about myself, at other times I searched and hoped to discover peace without and bring it within me.
How wrong I was!
All I needed was to relax, find myself from within and accept myself.
Are you like Tolani? Are you tired of DOING? Then STOP! Sit down and give time and attention to your well-being.
Why do you think you need to do and do and do? Why can’t you just be?
Relax and be in touch with your confidence, your doubts and your strengths, with all you have resident on your inside.
Amidst the hustle and bustle and achievements, I lean back and try to find me and that place of serenity, that place of rest and tranquility that I yearn for and I realize I am me from the inside and not from the outside.
A real woman knows that she can give value when she feels valuable, so she sometimes stop in the midst of all the multitasking to take care of herself.
Don’t you forget you are a real woman.